Every December for the past few years is the same. When I see first
ornaments on the trees and hear Christmas songs on the radio I think… here we
go again. The more we are approaching to the end of the year, the more tension
and undefined sadness I feel. Then, on the first day of January, suddenly
everything changes. I feel such a relief, peace and power to move on and be a
better person. I know this all sounds like a bad woman’s novel, rewritten for
the numerous times, but it’s how I feel inside. Last year I cried like crazy,
for three days straight, but later it was all good. I should solve my little
frustrations during the year promptly, but it’s easier just to sweep all under
the carpet. But everything returns to you, often when you least need it. It’s
not that bad how it might sound, but during any kind of longer holiday, I’m not
the happiest person.
When you have a little more time to think about yourself and your life,
you might get sad. Maybe I’m just bored and should work more. Generally
looking, I really have everything I could wish for: great boyfriend, pretty
normal family, a job (which is not so common these days), my good friends from
childhood and (too) many material things. I buy myself what I really like. Ok
my issue is still self esteem, but I came far on this area and I’m still
working on it. One day I would definitely want more challenging job with
responsibilities and of course move in with my boyfriend (suburb, right Kristof?).
I could write something smart and fancy, talking about healthy food and
relaxation, but I won’t. This time is for me ideal for some overeating and
enjoying in a bit more junk food than usual. I don’t mean to overdo it, because
I will regret it later, I’m sure. My favorites at this moment are: Milka
chocolate with peanuts and caramel, Nic Nac Peanuts in spicy dough and Haribo marshmallow
mix. I could eat this just every day.
In my days off I would like to catch up a bit with the TV program. I’m
curious about Mariah’s Carey new reality show, I would also like to see Fuller
house episodes from the season 2. I adore old movies with Audrey Hepburn and
Hitchcock classic. Maybe something goofy from Woody Allen – oh the list is
growing. It’s been such a long time since I went through my old CDs. I will
probably do some blogging in advance and reading. Of course I will spend some
time with my boyfriend and friends. There will be some long coffee talks and
exchanging gifts. I’m not planning to make New Year’s resolutions list, that’s
just a cliché. The last day of the year I’ll spend in Ljubljana with my love,
I’m planning to make a photo story about it.
All this should make me happy, right? Right!
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