Unfinished bussines

This week I was planning to write something totally different, but the natural light for making pictures is terrible, so I decided to write about my bigger goals for this year. I have one enormous challenge to face, well its big for me, ˝normal˝ people or majority of population, doesn’t have this kind of problem. Other three are easier in some way and a bit less important, but still hard and I would be very glad if I make all these happen this year.

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Driving a car

Tomorrow will be exactly 10 years since I got my driving license. I was never really enthusiastic about driving; I went to driving school because everyone else did. I was a slow learner, had over 40 hours of practice and took my practical exam twice. I didn’t like my instructor, but anyway at the end I become a solid driver I would say. I was never really relaxed in the car and trusted my skills. When I went somewhere for example with my mum, I always let her to drive. I rarely insisted that I cake over the wheel and through the years, I completely stopped with driving. My big problem is enticed with a stick shift. You need to get a feeling for clutch and a gas pedal otherwise the car might stall. It’s not that difficult to master this, I would just need a lot of practice and patience. When I sit on driver’s seat my hear starts beating fast, my hands get all sweaty and I feel I’m close to smaller panic attack. I’m terrified of accidents, parking spaces, narrow roads, trucks coming from the opposite site… When it comes to roads I’m a huge pessimist, no matter who I’m driving with. It’s embarrassing to say that I’m afraid of driving, although I know some persons with exact problem. Who cares about cancer, I’ll die in a car. I will be 30 next year (oh dear God) and I still depend on others to drive me or poor public transportation, so my giant wish is that I will able to drive myself anywhere I would like to go, just like I was able a few years ago.

Stop with overeating

I would say I made a great improvement on this area, but still there are periods, mostly during holidays, when I just can’t stop eating junk food. Bad food makes me happy for a short period of time, later it becomes cause of a problem, because I always gain some weight. It’s such unhealthy habit that haunts me for years. I would like to have it more under control. It’s nothing wrong from occasionally eating chocolate, but when you eat 3 big 300g bars in one week, I believe you (or in this case me) have a problem. Here comes the most common decision – I will exercise regularly, eat healthier, take care of myself and make smaller, good changes. I’m also planning to read more about healthy lifestyle what I usually hate, but maybe I find something useful.

Make a dentist appointment

I’m not overly scared of a dentist, but this could be so unpleasant that I’ve been delaying to make an appointment for a long time. Even I don’t have any problems with my teeth yet, I’m sure that she will find something. They certainly need to be cleaned and polished. I’m not sure about the cavity. The sooner I go the better will be.

Finish with reading the book

Approximately year ago I bough myself a book called Four sisters by Helen Rappaport. It’s about lives of Romanovs, last Russian dynasty. I like this part of history and the story of ˝Last Russian Tsar˝. I watched a few documentaries about this topic and subsequently I know the content of this book, but just superficial. It is interesting reading with lots of detailed descriptions, it’s not typical and boring historical story. My main excuse is small print and more demanding language. There is lot of words that I don’t know the meaning of and long sentences where I get lost. In a year I read just 70 from about 450 pages, because I always choose some other, easier book over this. This reading is not relaxing, it’s more like hard work or studying, which is not necessary bad, just takes more effort.