Lately I've been
feeling a bit off. I can’t explain even to myself what is really going on and
where is the problem. I believe it’s a combination of upcoming stressful events
and everyday’s little tensions. I’m preparing for professional exam and that is
my main focus now. I don’t feel extra nervous yet; well at least I think so.
The more I study the easier it gets, because I feel more confident.
I lost my interest in
blogging for a while. I collect ideas and occasionally write posts, but rarely
publish them. I strongly believe this will improve after my exam, when I’ll
have some extra time or writing will become necessary for my next possible
English exam. I haven’t decided about that yet.
Another big deal for
me is that I drive car now almost every day to work. It’s a very short
distance, but it’s still a huge step for me. It still makes me nervous every
time I even think about driving, but it’s getting easier every week. I still
avoid certain roads and situations, but with time, I’ll be prepared for bigger challenges.
I would like to eat
healthier and exercise more. I’ve recently been on my annual checkup and my
blood is not in perfect condition – the reason is me, I’m not taking care of
myself enough. I enjoy too much in sweet and greasy food, not thinking about
long term consequences. I’m not getting any younger. Should I write about my
seasonal hair loss again? I don’t think so. It’s happening, but somehow this
year I feel calmer about it. I tried some hair products and food supplements
and this is all I can do. I also gain some
weight during summer, but that doesn’t make me sad. As long as my skinny jeans
still fits, I’m good.
Anything else that is
bothering me? Oh yes, I almost forget. I
somehow alienated from my friends. Not on purpose to be clear, but they have
busy lives or are just pretending to be unreachable. I’m not sure about that,
but it hurts sometimes and I miss them. I would actually like to meet some new people,
make new friends with time, because I thing that would bring a new dimension in
my life, but that is not so simple and honest people are just hard to find.
Anyway this is my
favorite part of the year and I should definitely enjoy it more, that’s my new
rule from now on.
I would like to thank
to my Krištof, who is thankfully still somehow keeping up with me J.
But it's winter now ?
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